Sam's writing assignment

I gave Sam the following writing topic: "And that is how my butt ended up on Mars and Uranus." This is what he wrote. (He wrote this over many days.)

One day Sam was chillin' when the phone rang. Sam picked up the phone. Hello said an intelligent-smelling man. You are the lucky man who has been chosen to go on the NASA spaceship. Oh said Sam. What time should I be there? 11 o'clock said the man. OK bye. The next day Sam went to NASA. As soon as Sam walked in he was greeted by a man. I will be your captain. Follow me he said. Sam followed him. Soon they were in a room. Welcome to the rigging room said the man. Let's get you into a space suit. Later Sam was walking down a hall to the space ship and when he reached the door a man said to go into the spaceship and take a seat. OK said Sam. Soon he was in the space ship. Are we ready to take off? Yes. 3-2-1 BLAST OFF. The spaceship blasted off going at an incredible speed. About ten minutes later they were sailing through space. Where are we going said Sam. Mars said the man. Oh said Sam. A few days later the man said 2 days until we reach Mars. Coooolll said Sam. That night Sam could hardly sleep. I"M SO EXCITED said Sam. The next day the man said one day until we reach Mars. At lunch Sam fainted of excitement. What felt like two seconds was really twenty four hours. When Sam woke up the man said we are at Mars. Wooot. Sam put on his space helmet and jumped outside. Let's go exploring said the man. Soon the man and Sam were strolling down Mars. Or should I say trolling down Mars. Anyway about thirty minutes later they were back at the spaceship and the man said we must leave now. OK said Sam. Ten minutes passed and Sam was in the spaceship in his seat ready to go home ....... Two seconds later they were sailing through space. We're off! yelled the man. WOOT said Sam. One and and half days later Sam was eating lunch when the man ran into the lunch room yelling. Sam look out the window. Sam looked out the window. There was a lot of space junk heading right for them. Ooooh crap said Sam. What are we going to do. I HAVE NO IDEA screamed the man. The space junk was very close now and the man was spastic. He was running around the lunch room screaming his head off. Can we get this spaceship out said Sam. Oh I never thought of that said the man. Then let's go said Sam. Suddenly the space junk hit and broke the engine and they were flying through space heading right for a black hole. Oh no said Sam. What are we going to do. We're going to see if we can fix the engine. Thirty seconds later they jumped out and crawled to the engine and started to fix the problem. Three minutes later it was fixed .... or they thought it was fixed. Okay let's go said Sam. They started back to the spaceship. Soon they were in the control room. All right said the man. Let's go . The man turned on the jets. But only one was working. The spaceship started to spin uncontrollably. Sam and the man got flung around the room and the black hole started to suck them in. Sam and the man got flung around the spaceship getting hurt very badly. Well this is it. Goodbye world thought Sam. Suddenly they hit the black hole and got sucked through the black hole. The pressure was unbearable. It was a miracle that they survived. They shot through the black hole and hit something. Now Sam and the man had fainted when the spaceship hit the "thing" so they did not wake up for a while. When they did wake up they noticed that they were really on Uranus. Woooow said the man. This is Uranus. HEY! said Sam, (Sam thought he said YOUR ANUS). I mean the planet said the man. Oh said Sam. They got out of the spaceship and took a walk. After the walk Sam and "the man" fixed the engine for good and ate supper. Then they went to bed and fainted because they were so exhausted. When they woke up the man said let's go home. Agreed said Sam. So they got in the space ship and blasted home. They were very lucky to crash into a closed pillow factory. After that they walked back. When they entered the NASA building everybody went wild with joy. We thought you were dead said a man. Oh really said Sam. Yes he said because I am. WHAT. Oh my. I'm kidding said Sam. Sam said to the man I never got your name. I am Justin Beiber. Sam punched Justin in the face and ran home. The next morning Sam looked at the news. Jusin Beiber arrested for starting a riot. Sam said that was the happiest day of his life. And that's how my butt ended up on Mars and Uranus

Editors note: Originally the man at the end of the story was going to be Churck Norris. But Sam couldn't resist a chance to express his disdain for Justin Beiber.