Mum is allergic to trees. This means that we are not able to purchase trees and carry them into our house for the festive season. We got by with a pathetic fake Christmas tree for many many years, but that one eventually met its end. A lull began that has not yet finished. Nobody is willing to invest the time or money to walk down to Canadian Tire and buy a fake Christmas tree.
Our living room is graced with two fake fig trees all year round. When Christmas time comes around, the younger boys grab one, prop it up on a coffee table, and cover it in popcorn, lights and clay zebras. They like to finish it off by putting an empty Hannukiah in front. Some of you may be thinking, "Wow, what clever improvisation! It must look amazing!" You're wrong. It is the UGLIEST Christmas decoration in existence. If you want to see a picture of this tree, look at the blog background. You see the green thing that looks kind of like THE UGLIEST THING YOU'VE EVER SEEN? That's our Christmas tree. I'm sorry if this has made you think that our family has a depressing Christmas. It isn't true. The only depressing thing about our Christmas is the tree itself. If Santa were to visit, he'd give us five pounds of dynamite and a match with a note saying, "You should be ashamed of this. Blow it up. There's some free coal in your stocking. Merry @#$%$#$ Christmas."